The estranged wife of afro pop singer 9ice,
Toni Payne has put pen to paper to analyse how their once talk of the
town marriage crashed like a badly packed card six years after they went
their separate ways.
![9ice-wedding-stargist](https://i.onthe.io/vllkyt6c2e0j71a42.ca15a25e.jpg)
9ice and Toni Payne wedding picture
Payne and 9ice got married on July 17, 2008 and got separated in 2010 shortly after the birth of their son, Zion.
The couple got separated following allegations of cheating that came
up from one of 9ice songs Once Bitten Twice Shy. The song not only
destroyed Payne and 9ice marriage, it also destroyed the strong
relationship between 9ice and Ruggedman.
Bad blood has gone up and down on the issue, names calling, abuses
and all that but the woman in the middle of it all is starting the New
Year on a forgiveness note.
In what she calls, “Letting go of all Bitterness and Hate for the one I once loved,” Payne
accused the Nigerian media of blowing the song out of proportion thus
leading to their marriage break up on Instagram and her blog,
tonipayneonline.com.
Payne said: “Hahaha never thought this day would ever
come!!!! It has been a good 6 years and now I can categorically say I
have let go of all bitterness and hate I felt for a man I once loved. It
has been an uphill journey but to find myself here is a blessing.
Without getting into detail and backtracking too much, I’ll summarize it
as a lot of naivety, a lot of bad decisions, and a lot of untrained
media professionals ready to blow things out of proportion.
A man sang a song and for whatever reason known to them, Nigerian
Media “professionals” decided to tag it as what it was not, and a lot
of Nigerian onlookers decided to help spread it without knowing if it
was true or not and unfortunately for me, I was caught in the crossfire.
A lot of people formed opinions about me, some even hate me till
today for something that was mere fiction. Such is life right? Till
today, I still wonder how things got that far. I wonder how things got
so nasty. I wonder how a once beautiful relationship turned so sour so
quickly. .
These days, we talk – a lot. We talk about what happened and how
we got here. These days, we can now joke and laugh about the past. I ask
a lot of questions because I really want to understand him and put
myself in his shoes.
I also hope he understands my every reaction and puts himself in
my shoes. Through all the mess, we never really talked deeply about
things. There was too much resentment on my side for me to want to allow
him in.
There was too much bitterness in my soul to ever want to forgive.
I honestly never thought this day would come – that is how angry I was.
There is a Yoruba proverb that states “when the ocean rises, you don’t
rise to meet it.”
For every action there is a reaction and for every reaction there
are consequences. I think sometimes, when you are finally in a good
place, it is good to talk. Don’t just leave things like that, reach out
to each other and talk about things. It is good for both parties to get
closure.
It is good to try to understand each other and move on with peace
in your heart. He stands by his reasoning that he never mentioned my
name or ever accused me of such, and even though I agree with him that
he never accused me of anything, I stand by my reasoning that he still
should have defended me against a very wicked rumor.
He argues that he felt it would have escalated things, I argue
that things got escalated because he did not speak up. We both believed
in our decisions at that point. He felt silence was the best answer, I
felt I needed to defend myself for posterity sake.
At the end of the day, it is what it is. When the noise calms, we
still have to deal with each other. When the curtains fall, we still
need to have each other’s best interest at heart. I am not perfect but I
can categorically say I did my best to be a good woman to him. I still
do. I believe deep down inside, he knows this.
I do all possible best never to speak ill of him publicly – and
as far as I know, he does the same for me. After everything we went
through, I always say it is best to keep your private life private.
I write this today not to deviate from that but it would be
unfair to forgive wholesomely for something that was so “Public” while
leaving the impression that I have not.
I know a lot of people think I hate him- I don’t! I also write
this today not to bring up the past but to go on record and let anyone
that feels bitter inside know that it only gets better. Trust me, if I
can move on from an entire nation thinking I cheated when I did not, you
can also forgive whoever hurt you.
Just let love and kindness in your heart. Bitterness is a heavy
weight to carry and now I feel 100 times lighter. I believe the younger
ones can learn a lot from our errors and most importantly learn about
forgiveness.
In life, we can only predict what we want from it, we can never
ever guess 100% what it will give us. I spent so many years caring what
others think till I realized in this life, the opinion of others is just
that – an opinion. I believe I am starting my 2016 off in the right
direction.
I hope to work on forgiving others who contributed to this
chapter in my story. I believe this is a great place to start. At the
end of the day, we are family and I am eternally grateful for the grace
to see this day. Cheers to 2016 – whoop whoop.. lol”
In a recent interview on TVC, 9ice had said that Ruggedman never slept with his wife, Toni Payne but despite that there is still a war going on between the two of them and he said he has not forgiven Ruggedman.
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